Reflection
Last week I received news that one of my mentors, Mary Connors, had passed to the eternal.
I met Mary at Aileron shortly after leaving my pharmacy career. I was hanging out at Aileron, trying to figure out how to launch my new journey in becoming a life coach and public speaker.
Aileron is an amazing place located just south of Tipp City, Ohio. It’s a haven for entrepreneurs and leaders looking to take their games to the next level.
As fate would have it, Aileron was looking to build bench strength with the facilitators of their courses and the advisors (coaches) for their clients, and they asked me if I’d like to help.
I needed guidance in both areas, and Mary became my mentor and an excellent friend.
She taught me most everything I know about business coaching, public speaking, and facilitating experiences with large groups.
The TOP nuggets of wisdom she passed on to me include:
Pace and Flow
I’ll never forget the first experience I had while flying solo in front of a group during a two-day Senior Management workshop.
Mary had given me one hour to talk about what it means to have a clear vision for your business.
I remember preparing endlessly for my first solo flight into my new world.
I was done in fifteen minutes! 🙁 🙂 🙁 🙂
Mary was in the back of the room, and without missing a beat, she retook control of the room and asked the attendees to give me a hand for successfully delivering on my first chance.
Soon after, during a break, I approached Mary and apologized for failing miserably. She began to laugh and told me what I did happens all the time with rookie speakers.
She told me that my pace would come with practice, and she suggested that my practice should begin by watching, with diligence, her way of “working the room.”
I watched, many times, with diligence, and I can note that Mary worked the room with a grace, flow, and pace I can only dream of possessing someday.
Connecting
After about six months of shadowing Mary, she saw fit to have me present material for a full day during a two-day class.
We met the day before class to prepare, and as we were finishing up our “pregame” preparation, Mary asked me if there was anything that was worrying me, and I told her that I was concerned someone would ask me a question that I would not be able to answer. I told her that I was supposed to be the “business expert” in the room and didn’t want to look dumb. She said, “Oh, get over yourself.” That was one of Mary’s favorite sayings.
She went on to tell me that no one has all the answers, but the room always does. I had no clue what she meant.
She told me that whenever I received a question, I could not answer, to deflect it over to her.
So the questions came, and I threw them to Mary, and she would elegantly throw them to the group, and someone in the group would always have the answer or lead the group to the solution.
Mary was also big into small group breakouts. We would incorporate several small group breakouts during our sessions to allow the attendees to connect and share thoughts and insight into a topic we had just discussed.
At the end of a two-day session, Mary and I based a portion of our success on how well we connected the attendees to one another.
Preparation
Another giant nugget of wisdom that Mary passed on to me was the importance of preparation.
She would spend an entire day researching the attendees and getting to know them “online” before meeting them.
She would also thoroughly review all of her material even though she had presented it hundreds of times previously.
Mary was also a stickler for keeping the course material relevant as she was constantly researching and reading about the latest issues facing businesses and leaders.
Last but not least, she was the queen of flip charts. She utilized PowerPoint, but she ever-so elegantly noted her “best stuff” on flip charts, and she would prepare all of her charts before class to save time.
Creating an Experience
So, I remember this moment as if it just happened yesterday.
It was my time to be in the lead facilitator role for Aileron’s flagship course, “The Course For Presidents.” It was a two-day session, and Mary would be serving in a support role.
I arrived an hour and a half early to create my flip charts and ensure the room was arranged to my liking. I learned this practice from Mary.
To my surprise, Mary was already at Aileron when I arrived.
She noticed a podium in the front of the room and asked me if I knew why it was there. I said, “Yes, it’s for me, so I have a place to lay my notes.” She then left the room and returned a few minutes later with someone from maintenance and had him wheel the podium out of the room.
She then politely informed me that I was not teaching, preaching, or lecturing but instead facilitating an experience. It was hard to create a great experience when there was a barrier between the attendees and me.
Today, I walk the room, just as Mary always did…with no podium…doing my best to create an experience.
While my notes lie “secretly” on a table that is a part of my route while I walk the room. 🙂
Of all the nuggets, this one was double-golden.
Creating experiences…if you knew Mary, you know she was an expert at creating experiences.
I’ve been facilitating “experiences” for several years now. I just completed a two-day “experience” a couple of weeks ago.
In Conclusion–Five key nuggets Mary Connors passed on to me…
- Keep your pace and flow steady.
- Connect with others and connect others with others.
- Prepare, prepare, prepare.
- Remain relevant by staying up to date.
- Never teach, preach, or lecture–always look to create an experience.
Back to the opening quote…
Mary brought out the best in me.
I’m a better person because of Mary.
Thank you, Mary.
Questions
Who is bringing out the best in you?
When it comes to living your life…
- How’s your pace? Is it slow and steady or fast, unplanned, and haphazard?
- Are you a connector or an isolator?
- Do you practice and prepare, or do most things by the seat of your pants?
- Are you relevant? Do you stay up to date on issues, or are you stuck in a comfortable rut of “same ole same ole?”
- Last but not least, what type of experiences are you creating for those you interact with?
Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man (or woman) sharpens another.”
P.E.A.C.E.
Jay@EagleLaunch.com
