Proverbs 18:2, “Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.”
One of my favorite personal development books is “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” by Stephen R. Covey. Covey methodically goes through 7 Habits he has observed in all people who are highly effective. The 5th Habit is; “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
Covey makes this statement when describing the importance of the 5th Habit; “If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication.”
My translation…listen in order to learn and then if asked for your opinion you will be able to present a well founded opinion. How often do we listen to learn? This takes work for me, but since it is one of the 7 Habits as well as a great way to keep a marriage happy; I have forced myself to learn how to listen. My wife explained to me years ago that when she was talking to me, she was not looking for an answer but simply wanting to talk. Men can you relate? Today, when someone is talking to me I try to absorb it to the point that I am able to explain back to the person what he or she just told me. If I don’t understand, then I ask them to repeat what they said and I keep asking questions until I understand what they are saying.
Solomon states this Habit so eloquently in the 2nd verse of the 18th Proverb…“Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.” If you fall into the “foolish” category begin the practice of listening to learn instead of listening to respond or to air your own opinion. Like all other habits, it will take time and I can tell you first hand that I’ve been working on this one since I got married back in 1982…and yes I am still a work in progress (according to my wife), but much better at this than I used to be.
P.E.A.C.E.
