Living through the sadness…

Lately, it seems as though I have been as sad as I have ever been while in recovery. Sometimes you do not realize how close you are to someone until they are gone. That was obviously the case with me and my buddy Joe. Saddness has certainly been the order of the day for me over the past 4 weeks.

I learned a long time ago that it is ok to be sad and feel saddness but it is not ok to allow saddness to control us. Satan loves it when he can get us to somehow turn our sorrow for another person or situation into feeling sorry for ourselves. Those of us with addiction and self pity disorders have a thinking problem that stems from a world centered around self and if we aren’t careful and we allow an opening, the enemy will sneak in and try to paralyze us. I am speaking from experience.

Through this grieving process I have found how important it is to not isolate. I have found isolation and the subsequent saddness and depression that follows is almost like an addiction. It becomes insidious. It is cunning, powerful and baffling.

This past weekend I decided I had had enough of this sad “crap” and finally picked up the phone to talk with a fellow Jesus follower who could not only relate, but would listen. I then called a couple of other people who recently suffered setbacks in their life to see if they needed help and then I picked up the phone tonight to congratulate a fellow addict about his recent engagement. The more I get out of myself the less paralyzing the saddness is and the better I can live. I understand the saddness will be here for some time but it does not have to control me.

Jesus wasn’t joking when he said “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18:20). We are definitely wired to be in community (for more on community see my 12/13/2008 and 12/21/2008 posts).


P.S. Some hacker from Malaysia paralyzed EagleLaunch this weekend for almost 40 hours. It is flattering to think satan will do anything he can to get to me and it is comforting to stand behind God’s word in Isaiah 40:31 “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and be faint.”

2 comments on “Living through the sadness…

  1. Reed Sevitts on

    God bless you Jay. It is so easy to forget when you are in recovery that one of the things we need to do is serve. Use our brokeness to serve. Get out of “SELF”. The old “idle hands” thing. Surround yourself with Christ minded people. Be in the word daily.

    P.S. It is good to know God’s message thru Eagle’s Launch Is getting a response halfway around the world. Awesome man!

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