Invisibly Broken

With the recent loss of Philip Seymour Hoffman to a drug overdose I find myself sometimes thinking we are fighting a losing battle against the drug epidemic here in the U.S.

People are dropping like flies and young people are being turned onto heroin at an alarming rate.  We have a country that not only condones drinking in excess but has now legalized marijuana.  Denial ain’t just a river in Africa it is at the core of our country’s drug problem.  Our country is flat out, in denial.  The devil is deceiving us.  Nothing good has ever happened because of alcohol, drugs or other addictions.  I’ve seen it rip countless number of lives and families apart.

But, for the grace of God I escaped for today, as us addicts and alcoholics know we only have a daily reprieve based on our spiritual condition.

This week I ran into a fellow alcoholic and found he has a real talent for poem writing as he shared the poem below with me.  When you read this poem please do not think the writer or any of us in recovery from addiction are looking for sympathy and/or making excuses.  None of us ever planned on becoming trapped in this downward death spiral which usually started innocently.  I’m sharing this because I thought maybe you would like to know how we feel when we are on this roller coaster with no safety harness, and/or maybe you know someone who can relate and could benefit by reading it.

INVISIBLY BROKEN

 

I lie here alone with my prizes held high

 

My past blistered with pain with a tear in my eye

 

Society gave me people to compare, some better, some worse

 

My pain did not crash at the bottom, it was in the middle I would burst

 

How much more can I hide, how much more can I take

 

I was blind to the destruction and what was honestly at stake

 

Just pick one or more alcohol, debt, lust or anger

 

I was playing with my soul as I was powerless and in danger

 

I was simply sick and tired of being sick and tired

 

Reality had disappeared delusion was now hard wired

 

Was it going to take jail, divorce, bankruptcy to shake my soul

 

I evaded them all not satisfied and it has taken its toll

 

Oh, I begged for a solution something, someone to save me

 

My answer was a friend who delivered love I could never see

 

He accepted me as I was with all of my faults, guilt and shame

 

He gave me a path of recovery life became much clearer and sane

 

Oh your ego must get past the stigma the sound of recovery

Get humbly lost, your journey is peace, true serenity.

 

If Christ is close to your heart, the hope for you is compounded

 

Christ’s love and grace opens your soul your reality becomes grounded

 

The journey exposes the truth, the real pleasure inside your pain

 

You begin to accept yourself and the pleasant sound of your name

 

You can’t do it alone ask God for grace and tie it with a bow

 

The regret and pain will disappear, your past can rest on a soft pillow

 

Oh you can wait to hit the bottom and when you do you’ll just dig

 

Hang on tight and begin to live in the stench of a pig

 

Resentment, self-pity, and false pride today I cannot afford them

 

Love and tolerance is my code bestowed by wonder through Him

 

Awaken to the gift of brokenness its truth, it’s a gift, not a simple token

 

I’ve felt its peace and love, don’t be afraid I was there, once invisibly broken

P.E.A.C.E.

Jay@EagleLaunch.com