“Earn the right to be heard by listening to others. Seek to understand a situation before making judgments about it.” ~John Maxwell
The best leaders who communicate effectively are those who ask a lot of questions without showing “their hand” because “their hand” may change based upon the facts they glean by listening.
In Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Leaders, the 5th Habit is “SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD.”
My beautiful, humble, sweet little wife helped me diagnose a weakness I had in this area years ago as she detected most of my “listening” being based on sorting my response in my head without making any attempt at truly understanding what she was talking about. She would often say (and still does today if I relapse)…”I was not seeking your direction or guidance on this matter, I simply wanted you to listen!”
As Covey says in his book, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
Seeking first to understand and then to be understood is a true challenge for leaders who are driven (like myself) but if you are able to master this habit it becomes much easier to lead.
The most effective leaders I know, are great communicators and great communicators develop the empathy and compassion required to truly seek first to understand while beautifully balancing these traits with the courage to be understood.
P.E.A.C.E.
Proverbs 25:11, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”
Over the next couple of months I will be using a John Maxwell quote and expounding my experience on it. John Maxwell is one of my “book mentors” as I’ve read most of his books on leadership and how to do it Christ’s way (my interpretation).
