One Shot

 

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

About twenty years ago a very good friend of mine gave me some advice that I’ve never forgotten.  At the time my oldest was seven, my middle child was four and my youngest was two.  He said, “Jay, don’t ever forget you’ve only got one shot at raising your kids.”

I never forgot that and I’ve passed that piece of advice on to countless numbers of other parents over the years.  His statement was not only profoud but absolutely true.  In many situations in life there are second, third and fourth chances and for some of us who struggled with making bad decisions there are sometimes even more…if we survive.  But we’ve only got one shot at raising our kids.

The thought for this blog crossed my mind after my workout yesterday morning.  Our excercise room (once my oldest son’s bedroom) is right next to my daughter’s bedroom.  After my morning workout I walked into my daughter’s room only to find an empty room with holes in the walls, a few clothes and some old trophies from the past.  I had just spent the previous 30 hours moving her into her new place in Washington D.C.  She was officially on her own. 

I looked around the room and said “22 years…it’s over…unbelievable” and I got a tear in my eye and walked away.

Being the introspective type I found myself reflecting on whether or not my wife and I had made the most of the “one shot” we had at raising our kids.  I think we did.  

They are independent, they understand the importance of rest, exercise and nutrition, they know what “family” means, they try to treat others right, they help others when they can, they try to stay away from gossip and criticism, they are not racists or bigots, they are bold yet humble, they work hard, they love to laugh and have fun, they enjoy learning, they view challenges as steps toward growth, they know they can’t control others,  they know they can only control their attitude and effort, they know the world does not revolve around their butts, they know life is not fair, and most importantly they know the Lord. 

My wife and I tried real hard to be representative of all of these attributes for our kids over the years and of course she did a much better job than I did.  It is definitely monkey see, monkey do with kids.

Are they perfect?  Heck No!  Did they turn out ok?  I think so.

If you are a parent don’t forget you’ve only got one chance and if you want your kids to turn out ok…it all starts with your walk.

I leave you with a poem my wife wrote 8 years ago when our oldest left for college.

“EMPTY ROOM” 

When closing the door of a room full of memories,

Pause briefly.

Search the distant corners,

Visit with the once-familiar faces in the worn photos.

Dance to the distant laughter and footsteps,

Feel the embraces.

As you pull the door towards you 

Cry softly.

Above all,

Leave the door ajar.

P.E.A.C.E

jay@eaglelaunch.com