Philippians 2:3-4, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others.  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” NLT
My third triathlon this summer was a 1/2 Ironman. This involves swimming 1.2 miles, biking 56 miles and running 13.1 miles all in one day. Prior to the race I had set a goal to beat my previous best time by more than 5 minutes and felt confident I would achieve this goal.Â
I got off to a great start and had my best swim ever. I jumped on the bike and for 30 miles I was doing great and by my estimation was 15 minutes ahead of the time I needed to attain my goal. One thing that worried me about this race was it was a hot and humid day and I’ve always had trouble maintaining proper hydration levels on hot and humid days. I made an educated guess on how much sodium and water I would need to consume throughout the bike portion of the race in order to keep me fueled and energized. My guess was incorrect and at the 45 mile mark of the bike, I caught myself seriously considering laying down in a shady creek bed along with the cows who were standing in it as I was about to climb yet another hill in the 100% humidity of that particular day.Â
I’ve completed four 1/2 Ironman’s before and when thoughts like this begin going through my head I know I’ve reached the “mind over matter” stage of the race and it simply a part of triathlon racing.  On this day the “mind over matter” began as I was about 1/2 way through the race and since I was losing energy I figured I still had 2.5 hours of this painful mind game left. I thought to myself, “no big deal, in my first 1/2 Ironman, eight years ago, I was into the mind over matter state of mind only 10 minutes into the race.”
As I completed the bike portion of the race I took a quick look at my watch and found I would need my best 1/2 marathon time ever in order to achieve my goal. Common sense (my heart) tells me with the heat and humidity, there is no way I am going to achieve my goal.  That thought quickly turned into this thought, “I’ve got nothing to prove, I’m still alive and feeling relatively OK, why not call it a day?” My will power (my brain) says, “What? You are quitting!” My common sense (my heart) says, “I came here with a goal, I know I’m not going to achieve it unless a miracle happens and if I run for 2 hours in this heat, I may not live to ever attempt to achieve this goal again.” Normally I would challenge these type of thoughts with self talk (from my brain) like, “Jay you are being a wuss, you are not a quitter and you will not quit.” Those thoughts did not cross my mind on this particular day as I was unbelievably at peace with my decision to be a “quitter.”
As I racked my bike, my wife Lori with son Jordan were standing next to the transition area and Lori could tell something was up. I looked at her and said, “I’m going home, it is too hot for me to achieve what I set out to do and I’ve got nothing to prove.” She smiled and basically said it was good to see me at the age of 52 finally use some common sense. Â
So I went home to rest and hydrate and began trying to figure out when I would attempt another 1/2 Ironman. An hour or so into my recovery there was a knock on my door and my wife answered and came to see if I was able to speak with someone. Long story short, a young person in major distress due to a life tragedy came to speak with me because I had said something 11 years earlier during a school presentation I was giving when she was a 5th grader. She was in need of some advice and said for some reason I was the only person she felt comfortable speaking with.  I spoke with her and her mother for over an hour and I felt like it helped her.Â
That morning, like every morning (even though on the day of a triathlon my morning starts at 4:30am) I did my scripture reading, prayer and journal writing and was connected to God.  (This daily act gives me a better chance of allowing God to live inside this old man’s body instead of me.) Â
As I reflect back on that particular day I view it as a huge victory even though I was a “quitter.” The victory came by following the voice inside my heart and not the one in my head and that is a sign of growth for me. I could have finished the race, in fact after a couple bottles of water and a massage I felt like a million bucks (well maybe a Benjamin) and strongly thought about finishing. But, if I finish the race I am not home when the young lady shows up at my door for help.
When you get right down to it, having the need to “prove” anything or impress others (see Philippians above) that has nothing to do with God’s awesome power is a tad bit self-centered way of living that makes it difficult for God to use us as “living proof” of His miracles. Maybe I’m rationalizing a bit but I no longer believe coincidences are a part of God’s world.
Living a life where there is nothing to prove other than God’s love, grace and power is a great way to live. It’s a daily walk for me but I’m making progress even in my defeats.
Are you out to prove something? If so is it about God or is it about you?
P.E.A.C.E.
