Proverbs 22…direct, lift, model, be present, don’t give up
May 22nd, 2011
Proverbs 22:6, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” (NLT)
I’ve said it before in this blog column of mine; “you only get one chance at raising your kids.” In my dozen or so years of reading the Proverb for the day never did Proverbs 22:6 jump out at me like it did this morning so I figured I would touch on it because one of my readers needs to read this…that is how God works.
Since my kids are now adults and on their own and learning to handle life on life’s terms, I thought I would share a few thoughts of personal experience with you about raising kids.
1. As the Proverb above notes we are to “direct” our children. This one word says it all. Notice it doesn’t say we are to make friends with, place on a pedestal, look up to, live our life through, yell at, abuse, scorn, envy, CONTROL, do their work for them etc… A great way to provide direction without smothering your kids is by creating a playing field for your kids to “play” on. Picture a soccer or football field, picture the boundaries and the goals. This should be what your kids’ “playing” field of life looks like. Then let them play and when they go out of bounds or need help hitting the goals…re-direct them and coach them.
2. Spend more time lifting your kids up instead of pounding them down. For every negative or harmful action we make towards our kids, it takes five positive, uplifting actions to get back to square one. Catch them doing something right and allow them to “fail forward.”
3. How we “direct” our own lives is the greatest teacher for teaching our kids how to “direct” their’s. With kids and anyone you are directing for that matter, actions speak much louder than words. Model the behavior you are seeking…
4. Be present in your kids lives and being present is just as much a mental and spiritual thing than a physical thing. Let’s face it, we can’t be in our kids’ physical presence 24/7 and even if we could that would not work very well in allowing them to “play.” But we can be with them spiritually and emotionally. In other words, pray for your kids and know and care about what is going on with their lives. Being present means you are engaged in but not controlling what they are participating in nor is what they are participating in controlling you. Today’s world of texting and emailing has allowed my kids to know we are always present no matter how many miles away they live.
5. It is never too late to begin living the above four steps. I’ve met several parents in the recovery community who didn’t do a very good job raising their kids and they will admit it. But through transforming their lives with the help of God, they’ve been able to reconcile and become an intregal component of their childrens’ lives today.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13.
P.E.A.C.E.