Are you leading and if you are, are you developing others?  Are you motivating those you lead?  Are you helping those you lead work through the pain of growth?  Are you listening to those you lead?   Do you truly care about those you lead?  Are you able to lead without becoming defensive?  Are you able to lead without taking things personally?

If you are a leader or want to be a leader you will need to be able to easily answer yes to the above questions.

Leadership is not about status, title, wealth, fame, fortune or control.  It is simply the effective handling of people.

P.E.A.C.E.

Jay@Eaglelaunch

Hebrews 13:7, “Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God.  Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith.”

One of my favorite personal development books is “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” by Stephen R. Covey.  Covey methodically goes through 7 Habits he has observed in all people who are highly effective.  The 5th Habit is; “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” 

Covey makes this statement when describing the importance of the 5th Habit; “If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this:  Seek first to understand, then to be understood.  This principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication.”

My translation…listen in order to learn and then if asked for your opinion you will be able to present a well founded opinion.  How often do we listen to learn?  This takes work for me, but since it is one of the 7 Habits as well as a great way to keep a marriage happy; I have forced myself to learn how to listen.  My wife explained to me years ago that when she was talking to me, she was not looking for an answer but simply wanting to talk.  Men can you relate?  Today, when someone is talking to me I try to absorb it to the point that I am able to explain back to the person what he or she just told me.  If I don’t understand, then I ask them to repeat what they said and I keep asking questions until I understand what they are saying.

Solomon states this Habit so eloquently in the 2nd verse of the 18th Proverb…“Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.”  If you fall into the “foolish” category begin the practice of listening to learn instead of listening to respond or to air your own opinion.  Like all other habits, it will take time and I can tell you first hand that I’ve been working on this one since I got married back in 1982…and yes I am still a work in progress (according to my wife), but much better at this than I used to be.

P.E.A.C.E.

jay@eaglelaunch.com

I read the scripture above from the book of Mark during my morning devotion.  Whenever I read this scripture, I marvel at how well Jesus paints the picture of the importance of doing things the right way.  In essence he tells us we not only will reap what we sow, but the type of fertilizer we use in our “soil” determines the quality of the harvest we will have in life.  This parable is applicable to anything we attempt in life.

Jesus describes four types of people:

1.  Those who don’t get it and don’t want it.   (Comfortable in their own misery.)

2.  Those who want it and don’t get it.  (They see the light and are attracted to the light but are not willing to do what they need to do to change their soil…ambitious and somewhat lazy)

3.  Those who want it and get it, but it goes away and then they want it and get it, and then it goes away.   (Emotionally ambitious and not always lazy as they say “yes” to the right way but the way is not sustainable usually due to the fact they are not willing to rid their soil of old “crap”,  i.e. spaces, faces and places.  They may have a year where the crop is good and then a couple of years where the crop is bad and in-turn they never get ahead.)

4.  Those who want it and get it, and keep on getting “it” in multiples beyond their wildest imagination.  (These people say “yes” to the right way by making a decision to change the “soil” their life is planted in and then continue to expend effort in order to fertilize their soil on a daily basis…their “crops” continue to grow and get better and better.)

The bottom line is this.  If you want great things to happen with your life try planting it in fertile soil (God’s word) and expose and feed it with quality fertilizer (the people, places and things you put into your body, mind and soul.)

Getting it right is not rocket science, it is all about doing what you know you need to do in order to get what you know you want to have…one day at a time.

As with any habit, there are only two steps involved; start and continue.  

…as I’ve stated before, my blogs are written from personal experience and #4 is a much better place to be than 1, 2 or 3.

P.E.A.C.E.

jay@eaglelaunch.com

Paul’s statement in the scripture above is so simple yet so true.

As I’ve shared many times, I use my P.E.A.C.E. acrostic as a simple formula to keep me on a successful track in life.  I know first hand that a solid, well thought out Plan combined with effective Effort,  Attitude and Community of positive mentors, reinforced with healthy life habits which give me Energy; will help me accomplish and handle most anything that I set out to achieve.

Although all five areas are equally important, whenever one is weakened, the other four suffer consequences.

I know when I first got sober, my counselor helped me put together a plan of sobriety.  The plan was going to take effort and an attitude change on my part.  It also required me to exercise, eat right and sleep right so I would have energy.  But most importantly it stressed the importance of hanging around a community of  sober people.  We often refer to those people as “winners” in the program of recovery.

Over the years I have found the community of people I hang with plays a key role in whether or not I accomplish my goals.  One thing I am certain of is bad company will corrupt good character and good company will help eliminate bad character.

Are you struggling with where you are in life today?  What type of company are you keeping?

Winners breed winners and losers breed losers.

Oh…and one other thing…no company breeds no character…isolation is the worst form of company as that is the company the devil likes to keep.

P.E.A.C.E.

jay@eaglelaunch.com

This past weekend I was at a business seminar and was blessed with the opportunity to listen to several inspirational stories.  They all were presented in different ways with one common theme; nothing good in life will happen without focus and hard work.  King Solomon said it over 3,000 years ago in the Proverb above and the same holds true today.

The problem with alot of people is although they are willing to put forth the effort it takes to achieve their dreams and goals, they fail to understand that in some instances, is it is not so much about doing and putting forth effort, as it is about undoing old beliefs and behavior that often makes their efforts seem futile.

As a recovering alcoholic and addict I know first hand that no addiction or bad habit can be conquered if we do not deal with and rid ourselves of the cause of the addiction.  At the root of the cause of our addiction is our beliefs and from our beliefs come our thoughts and the thoughts turn into actions and behavior.  Trying to overcome old behavior by simply trying a new behavior will not turn into sustainable and positive results over the long term.  The old behavior will eventually snuff out the new behavior…I speak from experience.

I can remember when I was in the throws of addiction 25 years ago, I decided to buy a new road bike and began training for duathlons (run-bike-run).  I figured this physical exercise would help me want to quit drinking and drugging.  It didn’t, if anything I became an even bigger danger to myself as I was now PUI-ing (peddling under the influence).

In order for new, positive, habits to develop, old, negative, habits need to be “undone” by dealing with them and putting them to rest one day at a time.  In order to be able to “work and profit” as Solomon talks about in Proverbs 14, we must be willing to identify and undo behavior that is a liability and an expense to us. 

For some it may be an addiction, for others it is simply procrastination that manifests itself as laziness.  I know some people who have such a huge fear of failure they don’t do anything.  There are some people that would much rather talk and gossip than walk and prosper.  Others are paralyzed by worrying  about what others think or what others have and do.  I know lots of people that waste precious time sitting in front of the TV or computer. 

Whatever you need to ”UNDO” ask God to help you NAME IT, CLAIM IT AND DUMP IT, and keep doing this every day or multiple times during the day, until you finally rid your “cup” of these old wasteful beliefs and behaviors and replace them with new profitable beliefs and behaviors.  Sometimes this conversion requires professional assisance…I know a Life Coach that may be able to help you out. 

What do you need to “undo” today in order to start doing?

P.E.A.C.E.

jay@eaglelaunch.com

In the 25th verse of today’s Proverb, Solomon gives us a key ingredient in bringing “freshness” to others’ lives.  He simply tells us to refresh others.

When it comes to relationships with others where do you spend your time?  Do you lift them up or bring them down?  Do you consume others’ time by complaining about your problems or do you bring freshness to their lives by talking about uplifting things or assisting them with their challenges?

Tom Hopkins said it best when he said “small minds and people talk about things, average minds and average people talk about other people, great minds and great people talk about solutions, goals, dreams, concepts and ideas.”  In other words great people refresh others they come in contact with.  In all situations they give more than they take.

Choose to be a great “refreshener” for all you come into contact with today.

P.E.A.C.E.

jay@eaglelaunch.com

My January 31, 2011 thought for the week “so if you’re tired of the same old story, turn some pages” is a line from REO Speedwagon’s song, Roll With The Changes.  Check this link out for a beautiful acoustic rendition of their song.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBadNvkmjtY

I absolutely relate to “so if you’re tired of the same old story, turn some pages,” as it reminds me of the many people I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to help through the years.  Whether it be helping someone with an addiction problem, business problem or a life problem, often the difference between success and failure is the willingness to “turn some pages” and change and move on.

I was talking with a friend the other day and he said “Jay I’m sick and tired of being a failure.”  So I asked my friend, “what are you doing about it?”  He said “I don’t know, but I just know I’m tired of being a failure.”  Sir Isaac Newton and his genius mind proved that “an object at rest stays at rest” but I think you will agree with me, it does not take a genius mind to understand Newton’s first law.

In Stephen Covey’s book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,   there is a quote I refer to often when I am coaching my clients.  It comes from E.M. Gray’s essay The Common Denominator of Success.  Gray writes “The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do, they don’t like doing them either necessarily.  But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.”

Do you have a purpose?  Do you know where you’re going?  If you’re stuck and tired of the same old story…turn some pages.

P.E.A.C.E.

jay@eaglelaunch.com

What’s done is done.  Learn from your yesterdays in order to create better tomorrows.

P.E.A.C.E.

jay@eaglelaunch.com

In the scripture above, Jesus is talking to a disciple explaining how he will leave believers with a gift (the Holy Spirit) once he leaves the world.  This supernatural gift gives believers the ability to have God inside of them.  And as Jesus states above, this gift gives us peace of mind and heart regardless of what is going on in the world around us.

If this is the case, why are there so many miserable (i.e. troubled and afraid) Christians?!

I was sitting in a class with several entrepreneurs a few weeks ago when one of them asked a question about how to be an entrepreneur and maintain balance in life.  Most of us agreed that the words entrepreneur and balance in life creates an oxymoron.  During a break I was speaking with a fellow Christian businessman who was also in the class and I said; “I’ve learned that balance and me don’t mix but I’ve learned how to have peace no matter how unbalanced things may appear to the world.”  He chuckled and said “that is the power of the Holy Spirit Jay.”

Many of us seek “balance” when we are really looking for peace for our Spirit.  Seeking balance from the world through other people places and things creates the “miserable Christian” effect I related to above.  I tried that many years ago and take my word for it…it does not work.  In fact gaining peace and balance from the world simple creates more chaos for our Spirit.

Over the years I’ve developed a way to have my Spirit at peace no matter what is going on.   ”  

• It begins with defining my key roles and responsibilities and then turning them over to God every morning during my devotion time.  “God help me be the best person, husband, father, brother, son, leader, and friend that I can be” is what I normally pray, and then I get more specific with my prayer, depending upon what is going on within each of these priorities in my life.  
• Then I ask God to help me control what I can control and to not let me allow other people, places and things disrupt my Spirit. 
• Finally I ask God to give me the strength to not seek peace for my Spirit from the world.

If you find yourself out of balance with a chaotic spirit, try taking the 3 steps above and reading the scripture from John 14:27 every morning for 21 days.  Life is not about balance, it is about having peace of mind and heart no matter what the circumstance.

P.E.A.C.E.

Jay@EagleLaunch.com

One of my favorite quotes is “any belief worth having, must survive doubt.”  

In most anything we do, how we handle our doubt makes a huge difference in how well we execute in our various roles in life.  Doubt is a manifestion of the other “F” word; fear (see 10/29/10 blog) and is a place the devil loves us to go…and stay.  

During this time of year, 32 years ago, an epiphany took place in my life.  I was in my second year of playing college basketball and had gone from sixth man to last man.  Doubt had swept in and was on the verge of making me believe there was no use in continuing my basketball career.  A talk with my brother and coaches steered me away from quitting and I am so thankful because I would have missed out on an unbelievable career that included several team and individual accomplishments as well many important life lessons.  

When I made the decision to not quit I took a couple of days to take a look at what was really happening and why I had lost belief in my abilities to play basketball.    

I realized I let other people and my circumstances determine the quality of my play.  I was worrying about things I had no control over.  I was constantly comparing myself to my teammates.  I was constantly wanting something handed to me that I thought I was “entitled” to, (i.e. playing time).  I thought the coach didn’t like me.  I thought I wasn’t being treated fairly.  I probably had a dozen different excuses and thoughts I was constantly mulling over in my head and the fact of the matter was all of these thoughts had snuffed my belief of me and my abilities right out of me.  My play was dominated with doubt instead of confidence and because of all of this “stinking thinking,” doubt was about to take something I dearly loved away from me.  

Now here I am over 3 decades later blogging about what I now know is the devil’s best friend; doubt.  The devil loves to see us fail especially if it is because we’ve quit believing in our God-given gifts.  Doubt is nothing more than a self-imposed jail cell and when left unbridled will lead to a life of inaction…right where the devil wants us to be.  

The reason I came up with my P.E.A.C.E. acrostic years ago was to help me combat doubt.  Submitting your Plans to God while putting forth positive Effort and Attitude and seeking guidance from positive mentors from the Community around you, coupled with nourishing your mind and body with “good stuff” is a great way of eliminating negative and wasteful thoughts and in turn minimizing doubt while maximizing your confidence.  Each plan you achieve is just another milestone you’ve placed between you and your tendencies to doubt.  

Make 2011 the year of “Just Say No to Doubt.”  Make up your mind to stop letting other people and circumstances determine your “play.”  “Just say No” to the thoughts that bring on doubt (i.e. comparing yourself to others, blaming others for your lot in life, lusting after the gifts of others, thinking life is supposed to be fair, making excuses), and make up your mind to take control of what you can control and start P.E.A.C.E.ING your life together one plan at a time.   

I have no idea where I would be today if I would have allowed doubt to defeat me back in late 1978.  Obviously I wouldn’t be writing this blog but more importantly I know of two pictures that would not be on display in my office:   

One is a picture of my college basketball team from Ohio Northern University that defeated the University of Oklahoma at Oklahoma in 1980.  The other is a picture of me and my teammates celebrating by cutting down the nets after beating Northern Arizona and Portland University on back-to-back nights to win the Casaba Club Classic at the University of Pacific in 1981.   

For those of you that don’t understand the significance of these victories;  Ohio Northern is a small Division III school that does not give athletic scholarships whereas Oklahoma, Northern Arizona and Portland University are all Division I schools that give athletic scholarships to their players.   These three victories were huge ”upsets” and made national news.   These victories and the players on these teams are forever etched in the folklore of ONU basketball conversations.  And to think I almost let doubt prevent me from experiencing these victories… 

30 years ago...a bunch of misfits with alot of belief and no doubts...

Don’t let doubt prevent you from celebrating the victories God has in store for you this year…Just Say No to Doubt!  

Happy New Year!  

jay@eaglelaunch.com