EagleLaunch-Life Coaching

Philippians 4:11-13 “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

As far as I can remember, I’ve always had to have eggs for breakfast and if meat and potatoes were thrown in, I had what I considered a great breakfast.  I believe this is just a part of my German heritage.

A couple of days ago during a family trip we were staying at a hotel owned by my favorite chain.  I’ve been staying at this particular brand of hotels ever since I started traveling in business 15 years ago.  The reason I pick this particular chain is because…you guessed it…they serve eggs with their free breakfast.  But this past Tuesday morning there were no eggs and I was distraught and quickly told my wife I was heading out to find a place that had eggs and I would be back shortly.

It did not take me long to find a restaurant that served breakfast and as I was standing in line I noticed the gentleman in front of me asked for a cup of ice water and when the waitress asked if he needed to be seated he told her, “no I am homeless and all I want is a cup of ice water.”  He was given the ice water and he turned to head out the door and I looked at him and said “hey come with me, it looks as though you could use some breakfast.”  You would have thought I had just offered him a million dollars as his eyes lit up and he followed me to our booth.

Over my years of working with and helping others I have a couple of questions I always ask that helps me figure out what is going on in someone’s life pretty quickly, and one of the first questions I always ask is whether or not they believe in God.  When I asked my knew friend this question he proceeded to tell me he was not into organized religion but he believed in Jesus and his teachings.  Then I asked him why he was homeless and he proceeded to tell me that he had arrived at Fort Collins in hopes of having work to do and things didn’t work out as planned and he had run out of money, had no work and had spent the last 10 days sleeping behind and eating out of dumpsters while trying to find a way back home to Tampa.

He shared with me that he had stopped by at least a half dozen churches and each one of them told him they could not help him.  After hearing all of this I asked him if he was angry at God because the churches had not come through for him.  He looked at me and said “no” and then he saw I had my Bible with me (I was planning on doing my morning devotion while eating breakfast) and he asked me if he could look at it.

He quickly leafed through some pages and turned to the passage above in Philippians and read it to me.  He proceeded to tell me that if he was really walking the Christian walk it meant that he had to be content WHATEVER the circumstance.  He also said that he has been praying without ceasing and trusted that God would take care of him during this most difficult time.  But then he also said to me that he was getting dazed and confused because he kept running into dead ends but continued to believe “he could do everything through Jesus who gives him his strength.”  His knowledge of the Bible totally blew me away. 

This of course opened the door for me to talk openly about my faith and we talked for a good 45 minutes.  When the waitress came to give me the bill she told me the restaurant would pay for my friend’s portion of the bill and they also filled a box of food up for him…it was like he was just handed another million dollars.

As we were getting ready to leave he thanked me for taking the time to feed him and talk with him.  I told him that he had given me so much more than I had given him and I told him to jump in my car and I would take him to the bus station and get him a bus ticket to go home to Tampa…it was like he was just handed another million dollars.

My journal entry for Tuesday July 20th, 2010 has no scripture or personal reflection noted.  The only thing I wrote down for that day was my friend’s name and “No Eggs.”  I am so grateful my hotel did not have eggs that morning because it allowed me to have my faith strengthened and renewed by someone who had absolutely nothing but faith and a content heart.

How are you with your faith and contentment these days?  After my experience this past Tuesday morning I know I still have some work to do.

P.E.A.C.E.

Jay@EagleLaunch.com

P.S.  After explaining to the family what had happened, when I arrived back to the hotel an hour later than promised, my father-in-law laughed and told me it had to have been a God thing because five minutes after I left the hotel they brought out a big pan of scrambled eggs.

This past Thursday the young man who was working with me on my first book was tragically murdered by his step father. 

Throughout my life God has blessed my presence with many interesting and talented people.  I can say that Brandon (pictued above with my daughter at a church youth camp) was one of THEE most interesting and talented individuals I’ve ever been associated with…and he was only 22 years old!  But beyond that, Brandon lived life the way Jesus tells us to live. 

Although he left this earth at the age of 22, Brandon spent almost a third of his life teaching Sunday school at our church.  Others speak about Brandon being a great role model for his siblings and a great son to his parents. What I loved about Brandon was his creative side as I’ve been so pumped in anticipation of where he would take my skills as a writer.  Brandon was also close with my wife as they worked with the creative designer at our church on various projects.  It was Brandon who motivated my wife to get serious about her painting talents and that she has done.  She always said Brandon was an “old soul in a young person’s body.”

And then in a blink of an eye he is gone.

As I was mourning the loss of Brandon yesterday, I got word from one of my teammates from my college basketball playing days that a former teammate of ours dropped dead of a heart attack that morning.  The numb feeling from the loss of Brandon turned to a dead feeling as I shook my head in disbelief upon hearing this second piece of difficult news in less than 24 hours.

I’ve lived long enough to know that shit is gonna happen and tragedy has been amongst us since the beginning of time.  It is when it hits close to home that people begin saying Why God?  This weekend our pastor will be preaching about this topic at our church because our entire church community has been rocked and is grieving the tragic loss of one of it’s greatest servants.

My question is not “Why God?” in the sense of “why do you let things like this happen God?”  But “Why God?” in the sense of “why should we live a life fueled by God when he lets such awful things happen?

Like I’ve said many times and the Bible will confirm, we are born into sin and at our core is evil, “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” Psalm 51:5 (NIV). 

As a sinner I know I need God’s help in order for me to attempt to overcome my sin and my worldly tendencies, and in-turn live for Him instead of me…and this is a daily walk.  All of us have the ability to commit murder just as much as we have the ability to live as a servant of God.  The difference is all about WHO we are living for and Jesus tells us very clearly in Revelations what happens when we live for self and what happens when we live for God:

“Behold, I am coming soon!  My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. 

“Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city.  Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderes, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.”  This is Jesus speaking in Revelation 22:12-15.

So why choose God over ourselves and the world?  It is simple to me, in my flesh all alone, I am a “dog” who will live outside the gates of heaven.  With God I have a shot at eternal life and yes I believe there is an eternal life where Brandon recently walked through the gates of. 

Only an awesome being like our God can have such a powerful plan that we can be murdered on earth but yet gain a bigger and better life in eternity…all within a blink of an eye.  Choosing God over the world like our friend Brandon did is a choice worth making.

Brandon–your rewards in heaven are many, I can only hope mine will be a tenth of yours…and some how, some way, I hope God allows you the freedom to set up a Facebook website account in heaven. 

P.E.A.C.E.

jay@eaglelaunch.com

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT) 

The great philosopher, Pogo, of the cartoon section in the newspaper once said, “We have found the enemy and it is us.” I thought of this last night as I listened to a friend give a very powerful testimony at our recovery service at Ginghamsburg Church in Tipp City, Ohio.  She sought relationship “cures,” chemical ”cures” as well as geographical “cures” for her problems, but the problem continued to follow her until one day she named the problem and the problem was her.

I learned a long time ago that a problem remains a problem as long as we stay in it.  It always amazes me how quickly the problem disappears when we begin to live in the solution.  Those of us in the recovery community who have found recovery and are living a new life, realized at some point that until we named our problem, which was us, there was never going to be a solution.

In essence, a life full of problems is a life fueled by self instead of God.  Some great indicators of a life fueled by self include being in constant turmoil, arguments, confrontations, worry, regret, fear, revenge and envy; to name a few.  I know some people who are always at war with something…can you relate?

A couple of weeks ago I found that a former employee of mine’s husband was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and had only weeks to months to live.  He had been diagnosed with the cancer three years ago and it looked as though his treatments were working until this latest report. 

The family has kept us all abreast with his valiant fight against the cancer through a website via the internet.  The family is deeply grounded in their Christian faith and from the very first post they made on their website it was easy to tell they were choosing to live in The Solution and not the problem as they referred to “God’s will” early and often. 

We are talking about a young couple with two little boys and many hopes and dreams for the future.  It would seem to me that they would have every reason in the world to complain about their problems. 

In her most recent post, the wife tells us that her husband says to her more than once, on the long car ride home from the hospitial, “I’m going to get to see God soon.”  She closes her web post with the powerful words from Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9; “But he (the Lord) said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 

What awesome witnesses for The Solution!

Challenge yourself to get out of self and into The Solution and like it says in the opening scripture from Philippians above, you will receive a peace which you will not be able to understand, the same peace my friends are experiencing during this most challenging time in their lives.

Please lift Jason and Jennie as well as their 2 boys, Luke and Matthew up in prayer every chance you get.

P.E.A.C.E.

Jay@EagleLaunch.com  

“Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize?  So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training.  They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.  So I run with a purpose in every step.  I am not just shadowboxing.  I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should.  Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.”  1 Corinithians 9:24-27 NLT

A huge part of my life today involves doing things that generate energy (i.e. eat right, sleep right, and exercise) because the more energy I have the better chance I have in effectively taking on the challenges of the day and accomplishing my goals as well as God’s.  

Several years ago I started competing in triathlons as I knew if I had something I was working towards I would be more disciplined in my eating, sleeping and excercising habits.  Competing in triathlons gives me the opportunity to stretch my body to limits I once never thought imaginable and it also gives me a natural peace to my mental state which is always needed.  Triathlons involve swimming, biking and running total distances of anywhere from 16 to 140 miles…dependent on how crazy you are . 

A couple of Sundays ago, I had the opportunity to spend my Father’s Day with my oldest son in Washington D.C. competing in the inaugural D.C. Triathlon.  I must admit we were both a little nervous about the swim as it involved swimming in the Potomac River.  We both had experience in swimming in lakes and pools but never a huge body of water with only two boundaries and an undercurrent like the Potomac, plus the swim started at 5:30am.  The good news is there were 3500 other “crazies” in their swim gear at 5:30am getting ready to do the same thing.

It all came down to trusting our abilities to swim because once in the water there was no turning back and yes my son and I had decided before the race that it was “game on” and “may the best triathlete win.”   Prior to the race we were reminiscing about the many times we had competed against each other in the past.  I used to crush him in Candy Land but then he got revenge in Memory (I had an excuse because the drugs had burned my memory) and we both chuckled as we recalled the many epic one on one basketball battles in our backyard.

Walking the Christian walk is quite similar to competing as an athlete as Paul so eloquently states in first Corinthians.  It takes discipline (the bridge between goals and accomplishment-Jim Rohn) in order to train our body and mind to do what it takes in order to be prepared to do what God wants us to do and in turn have “purpose in every step.”

Discplining ourselves as Christians involves the daily routine practice of scripture reading, constant contact with God through prayer and meditation, interaction with accountability partners, weekly worship and opening our hands to others…to name a few.  Eventually this practice develops into a habit and then when we are faced with a tough decision of whether or not we will continue to “swim” or turn back, we will trust our instincts (i.e. the Holy Spirit) and continue on and do what we’ve trained ourselves to do.  A true Christian walk means there is no turning back as our daily disciplines and faith keep propelling us forward.

Although we had some fear going on as we looked at the Potomac while the sun was beginning to rise over the Washington Monument, we trusted our instincts that told us we had trained and prepared ourselves well enough to take on the battle; and that we did.  

Even though I was battling age and my son was battling dehydration, we finished the race strong. As you can tell by the pictures we finished together.  Which simply means we both know today there is a bigger and better race we are running which involves an eternal prize.  What a great father’s day gift.  Thank you God and thank you Jason.

P.E.A.C.E.

jay@eaglelaunch.com

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”  (Proverbs 17:22 NLT)

Recently I had an interesting discussion via email with some friends as we openly debated an issue relevant to the Christian community worldwide.  It always amazes me how much can be learned from others through candid discussion.  After this exercise of point-counterpoint, I spent some time reflecting on why I always seem to find the positive side to everything or the fact that I seem to thoroughly enjoy countering those who are representing what I consider negative points of view.

I remember seeing this quote somewhere years ago; “Jesus came to tell us what we can do and not what we can’t do.”  In other words the law, although still a great resource to know right from wrong, was replaced by Jesus so we could have abundant life in the here and now as well as the afterlife.

By accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior we not only get this free gift of eternal life but we also reap the fruits of the Holy Spirit; “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23 NLT)…if we try our best to follow Him. 

Jesus wants us to experience peace and joy no matter what the circumstance.  This is not easy, but once it becomes a habit, life becomes so much more enjoyable regardless of the situation.  I’ve experienced my own negativism being tranformed into positivism and possibilities over the past several years and it is a great way to not only live life but to enjoy life.  

As I reflect back on my career of coaching the teammates that worked for me at my business, I always painted a picture of “this is what the customer and you will have if we do these things.”  When I coached my kids’ AAU basketball teams I always talked about “this is what we need to do in order to win championships.”  During my kids formative years I always talked about “this is what can happen if you do these things.”  When I talk to others about Jesus I tell them “this is what you will gain by following Jesus’ instructions.”

Painting a picture of possibilities creates much more drive and determination in human beings than painting a picture of losses.  When you are able to look at situations and see possibilities and opportunities instead of losses and negative consequences you will win a lot more “games” in life than you lose.  

The Proverb above tells it all…positivity and cheerfulness is good medicine and creates a winning formula, negativism breaks the spirit and saps a person’s strength.

If you struggle with negativism and always see the cup as “half-empty”, challenge yourself to replace your can’t-do statements with can-do’s.  Choose to hang with and interact with other “can-do” people (this includes what you read as well as those you listen to on radio and watch on T.V.) and most importantly read, listen to, and follow the One who tells us what we can-do, and that One is Jesus.  

The debate I had with my friends the other day served as a way for me to not only broaden my knowledge on a subject matter, but also served as an opportunity to write a blog…now that’s what I’m talking about.

P.E.A.C.E.

Jay@EagleLaunch.com

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Many years ago, when my son Jordan was born and was not expected to make it, I found myself angry at God.  Jordan was born during the height of my drug addiction/alcoholism days.  At that point in my life I believed in God but I only viewed him as being there for me when I needed Him.  He was a God of ”convenience” for me and all of a sudden this God of “convenience” had turned his back on me; or so I thought.

I felt like God was punishing my child and in turn punishing me for the life I was living.  Jordan’s situation created a make or break point in my life and for the first 18 months of his life I literally “broke.”  I took my addiction to another level as I medicated the pain and ran from the responsibilities that came from having a developmentally disabled child.

Long story short…Jordan’s experience led me to Jesus.  Although it was not easy and I lost virtually everything and had to start over; I can look back on that time and know the words of Paul in Romans 8:28 are true; “…in all things we know that God works for the good of those who love him.”

For those of us who’ve suffered through tragic situations first hand, it is sometimes very difficult to see any good in the situation.  But once through it, and with the help of God, we eventually see and experience the good.

As human beings it is real easy to get stuck in the “world” and its ways and fail to experience what eternal life really is.  Living eternally is more than just accepting Jesus and going to heaven.  Living eternally means living the way Jesus encourages us to live in the here and now.  Living eternally in the here and now also requires us to see the big picture and understand we do not have all the answers to why things happen and that is why God created the word “FAITH.”  

God is a big God.  God serves over all humanity.  God is the alpha and the omega.  God developed the divine plan.  God developed the universe.  God owns everything.  God loves us so much he came down to earth and suffered a horrible death so we could be free of the bondage of sin.  My faith serves me well as I believe all of this. 

But why does God allow tragedy to happen?  Today, my faith tells me God obviously doesn’t view tragedy the way the world does.

The best way to even begin to understand why tragedy happens is to get unstuck from the world’s way of thinking and get “stuck in the Word.”  In Romans, Paul talks about how we can grow our faith, “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.”  (Romans 10:17 NIV)

If you are struggling with your faith and constantly find yourself asking God why something is happening, get into the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) and not only read, but take the time to sit, pray and “hear” the word of Christ. 

Other ways of growing your faith by “hearing the words of Christ” is to attend church regulary and interact with others who are strong in their faith.  Last but not least, extending a hand to others in need is an awesome way to experience and hear the words of Christ without anyone speaking a word.

The bad news is faith doesn’t “happen” overnight, the good news is it happens much more quickly when we are doing the things we need to do to in order to quit listening to the world and instead listen to Christ.  Slowly but surely the “WHY’S” from any and all situations turn into one big HOW…How can I grow from this experience and become a better disciple of the Lord? 

Reminder…the whole faith walk journey is a process and not an event.  It only takes 2 steps to be successful at it: Start and Continue.

P.E.A.C.E.

Jay@EagleLaunch.com 

P.S.  For 24 years Jordan has given our entire family and most people he comes in contact with an unmeasurable amount of peace, joy and happiness without ever speaking a word.  Now that is how having faith in God’s world works.

Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)

In my years of helping others I have found that a person’s beliefs will eventually make or break them. From our beliefs we have thoughts and from our thoughts we take action and from our actions we create results. The results, most of the time coincide with our beliefs. If we believe we are going to succeed we will eventually succeed. If we believe we will fail, we will eventually fail.

Our beliefs are developed over the years from life experiences. Most of them date back to when we were quite young. What is so sad for me to handle is when a lie becomes a belief and in-turn that lie prevents a person from being everything God wants them to be. As God tells us in Jeremiah, he has great plans for us but sometimes the world and other people try to convince us otherwise.

I can remember sitting in a 12 Step meeting years ago when a young man in his twenties said he finally figured out why he was a piece of “crap” (edited for this blog); it was because his Dad told him he was a piece of “crap” early and often every day throughout his childhood, teen and early adult years. The good news for this man is he recognized it and was ready to overcome this paralyzing belief of worthlessness his Dad had bestowed upon him.

Will power is often not enough to change destructive and paralyzing beliefs, especially when these beliefs have been a part of us for much of our lives.

Many people know the above verse from Jeremiah 29:11, but fail to read and act upon the three verses after it. God does indeed want us to have a prosperous future and he tells us how to obtain it in verses 12-14: “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.”

God gives us three steps to follow:

1. Call Him and come and pray to Him and He will listen. (i.e. pray, pray, pray)

2. Seek Him with all our heart and we will find Him. (i.e. ALL means ALL…our toxic beliefs spread like cancer to ALL aspects of our life and in order for God to eradicate them we must surrender ALL to Him or He cannot fix us.)

3. Find Him. (This is often the most difficult part as we expect God to show up with the answer in person and unless you are Moses it doesn’t happen that way. God usually shows up in the form of other people, scripture and/or the books we are reading. Thus the reason to hang around people who have beliefs you want, read the Bible daily and read books about the beliefs you are trying to attain.)

If you are paralyzed by beliefs that are nothing but lies told to you from the past, start calling, seeking and finding the Lord and He will indeed prosper you.

P.E.A.C.E.

Examples of other toxic/paralyzing beliefs: I’m not smart enough-I can’t have fun without alcohol-My past will always be in the way of my future-Life is supposed to be fair-I can control other people-I can stop my addiction through will power-People are always out to get me-It’s never my fault-I’m too fat to be attractive-I’m too short to be respected-Breaking a rule is breaking a rule only when I get caught- Flattery is a great way to get what I want-It’s a dog eat dog world-Never trust anyone-All people with money are arrogant-All poor people are dumb-I’m poor therefore I will never amount to anything-People will always take advantage of me when I try to help them, therefore I choose to not help others-The church is out to get my money….the list goes on and on and on.

If you believe in God then believe in his plans he has for you and his plans do not include any of the above beliefs.

jay@eaglelaunch.com

it’s what you do with what you know.

Jesus and the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14 NIV). To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable:

“I tell you that this man (the tax collector), rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

I thought of this scripture the other day as someone interrupted me without my consent and gave me an outpouring of knowledge about something I could have cared less about. I won’t get into details about the conversation but it gave me a flashback to my pre-recovery days when I loved to let others know how much I knew and of course my knowledge led me to bankruptcy in all aspects of my life. Today I know my walk means so much more than my knowledge or talk.

In the scripture above the tax collector openly admits to God he is a sinner and asks for his mercy. In that moment all the tax collector knew was that he was sinning and felt the desire to surrender and ask God for forgiveness. For his willingness to act upon what he knew, Jesus placed the tax collector ahead of the Pharisee that professed to be doing everything right, because the “humble are exalted.”

Bottom line…God could care less about what we know, he cares more about what we do with what we know. “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” James 3:13 (NIV).

P.E.A.C.E.

Jay@EagleLaunch.com

2 Peter 1:vs-2&4; “May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord.(2) And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s coruption caused by human desires.(4)” (NLT)

Every morning I go to my study to do my prayer and devotion. This is something I started when I got sober and I’ve found this practice lends greatly to my ability to stay sober while growing closer to God one day at a time. It is also a great escape from the “world’s corruption” and in turn helps me surrender my “human desires” to God first thing out of the gates everyday. (I love reading Peter’s scripture verses because he speaks in terms I can relate to.)

Over the past several weeks during my devotional time, I have been joined by a beautiful red cardinal. From sunrise to sunset my bird friend tries to fly into my study via the windows. He sits on a perch outside the window, flies into the glass pane, then I hear a “thud”, he drops to the ground, looks dazed and confused but always flies back to the perch in preparation for his next mission. He does this all day long.

This bird is so symbolic of what many of us do with our lives especially those who are battling any type of addiction or brokenness. We keep doing things the same way expecting different results and the results never change. I believe the definition of this behavior is insanity. A bird, with it’s birdbrain, has an excuse for acting this way but as human beings we have no excuse.

I know people who are miserable at this very moment because they are trying to control something they have absolutely no control over and most of the time what they are trying to control is either an addiction or another human being. Those suffering from addictions will either die or end up bankrupt in all aspects of their lives if they don’t admit powerlessness or lack of control over their addiction. Co-dependents of addicts and alcoholics are the greatest at trying over and over to control something that is uncontrollable, (i.e. the addict/alcoholic). They keep flying into that “window” over and over and over.

One of the best pieces of advice I received when I was in early recovery and working the first step was to not only say to myself that I was powerless over alcohol and drugs, but that I was powerless over other people, places and things and more importantly…I WAS NOT GOD. I was also told to turn the things I was in turmoil about over to God on a daily or more frequent basis because HE WAS GOD. I can’t, God can, I think I will let him, is a saying I’ve used quite often during my recovery.

Over the years, my morning prayer and devotional time has allowed me to draw closer to God and farther away from things I have no control over. I’ve witnessed my former “birdbrain” transformed into a brain that allows me to discern quite rapidly what I can control (me and my thoughts, words and deeds) and what I cannot control (other people places and things).

Where are you today? Are you trying to control things that are out of your control? If so, try spending more time with God and Godly people and less time with the people places and things in your head and you will slowly begin experiencing a grace and peace like never before. “May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord. (2 Peter 1:2 NLT)

It wasn’t too long ago where I would have let this beautiful bird with his little birdbrain drive me nuts, but instead I’ve chosen to make this cardinal my friend as he serves as a reminder of what I used to be like and can still be today if I don’t continue to do the things I need to do and in turn control what I can control and leave the rest to God.

P.E.A.C.E.

1 Chronicles 29:17 “I know my God that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity.” (NIV)

Have you ever heard this phrase; “It is better to have an enemy who keeps his word than a friend who does not?” Ever since I got sober I’ve tried my best to have solid integrity. There are various definitions for integrity but those that I often think of when I see the word integrity are: “keeping promises to self and others,” or “the ability to handle the demands of reality in an honest and forthright way,” or “when thoughts words and deeds are aligned.”

Over the years I’ve had the opportunity to work with countless numbers of people trying to get and stay sober (if you aren’t an alcoholic or addict but admit you are broken; replace the word sober with “repaired” in the first part of this sentence) and the number one stumbling block to staying “sober/repaired” is the inability to keep our word to ourselves.

I can remember in my final months of using I would work as hard as I could to keep promises I had made to others, but broke the one promise I made to myself hundreds of times which was, “I will never use again!” Eventually I no longer had the ability to keep any promises (addictions destroy integrity) and subsequently hit bottom.

But, by the Grace of God, I didn’t die from my addiction and life of unfulfilled promises as I ended up in a Chemical Dependency Center. During my stay there I can remember getting a bronze token and enscribed on that token was the phrase “To Thine Ownself Be True.”

If you talk with any recovering alcoholic or addict they will tell you that those who are successful in rebuilding their lives are those who are successful in being honest with “self” a day at a time.

The key to keeping promises to self is to keep it simple, ask God for help, and be transparent with an accountablity partner.

The hardest part is to keep it simple as so many people try to fix ALL aspects of their life once they see the “light” and it is virtually impossible. Working on keeping one promise to self per year is a great way to start but make sure you identify the most important one and work on it first. Many years ago I made a promise to myself that I would stay sober and although I’ve made dozens of other promises to myself over the years and been able to keep most of them; my “sobriety” promise is the one promise I cannot to break, because all other promises I make will be in default.

Asking God for His support and guidance while sharing your promises to self with a trusted accountability partner will be a sure fire way of living a life of integrity to not just others but to yourself. As stated in 1 Chronicles above “God is pleased with integrity” and it all starts with self.

P.E.A.C.E.

jay@eaglelaunch.com